In this 4 part series, we are going to cover the key things you need to know about sexual health. This content is brought to you by a specialist in this area, Becky Blackledge, and you can find more information about her work at Get Real Sessions here.
Introduction
Whether you watch porn, don’t watch porn or choose to watch porn later in life, it is important to talk about it because it is having an impact on ideas and expectations about sex.
Not everyone watches porn and people have different views about it.
This session isn’t to tell you whether porn is good or bad, but to highlight some of the ways it can and is impacting people’s real life experience.
In this session we will think about
- How Porn Can Impact on Real Life Relationships
- Expectations Porn can Lead to
- Porn Addiction
Expectations Porn can Lead to
Task One – Reflection
Do you think if someone is told the same thing over and over again eventually they believe it?
It could be about who they are, what they should be or how they should behave.
You are…….. You Should…….. If only you were……
- If someone watches porn do you think they will compare their body to the types of bodies they see in porn?
- Does the amount of porn a person watches affect how much they might do this?
- Could watching porn could affect whether someone feels attractive or sexy?
- Some porn shows violence and aggression as part of sex, e.g choking or slapping. How might this affect someone’s understanding of what sex is?
- Violence and Aggression is not something we accept in other areas of life, why do you think some people see it as part of sex? Consider expectation, power, inexperience, arousal and equality.
Reflect on your own views – do you think healthy sexual relationships are violent and aggressive?
Porn Addiction
Porn addiction can happen to someone of any gender and can have a negative impact on their mental and emotional health as well as affecting their relationships.
Lots of people watch porn and don’t become addicted to it. Like with most things in life, balance is important. If you find yourself watching porn more than you would like to, or you feel it is affecting you in a negative way, then think about what you could do to change things.
Task Two – Reflection
- Think about your own porn use – lots/ some/ once/ none. Does anyone else know what you watch/ have/ haven’t watched?
- As porn use is often hidden because it’s on someone’s phone, do you think this makes it more difficult to talk about? Do you think this is a good or bad thing?
- Addiction is when someone does something compulsively and doesn’t feel they have control over their behaviour. When we talk about addiction what do you think ‘interfering with normal life’ means and how might that affect someone addicted to pornography?
If someone is worried that they are addicted to porn these are some of the places they could go for support;
- Childline
- Kooth
- GP
- Trusted adult or friend
They could also try putting some boundaries in around their phone e.g don’t have it by your bed, use screen time restrictions, delete apps and be accountable to someone you trust.
When we are trying to reduce or stop doing something that is unhealthy, like compulsively watching porn, it helps if we replace it with something more healthy. If someone is trying to reduce their porn use, taking up a new hobby or interest, joining a club or team or spending time with friends can be really helpful.
How Porn Can Impact on Real Life Relationships
Task 3 – Healthy Sexual Relationships
Complete the table below. Think about how these things would be seen in a healthy sexual relationship and how they are shown in porn (There are lots of different types of porn, but think about the general themes in porn and how the entertainment factor might have an influence).
If you have watched porn you can use your knowledge, if not then think about what you have heard people say or PSHE lessons you have had.
| Porn Sex | Real Life Healthy Sex | |
| Communication | ||
| Power | ||
| Violence and Aggression | ||
| Relationships | ||
| Contraception |
Sum up
There is increasing research around porn use and the impact on the brain, relationships and the world. People often have strong views about porn, so try to look at both sides of the argument and decide what you think and how this will affect your choices.
Not all porn is negative, it is one of the ways people might learn about sex, but it is important to remember that it is a form of entertainment not the same as real life sex and can affect someone’s ideas and expectations around sex.
Whether you watch porn or not it is important to acknowledge that it influences social ideas about what sex is and how people are expected to look and behave and to remember that this could have an impact on your own relationships.
Remember…
This has been part 4 of a 4 part section covering Sexual Health. Well done on completing all sections.