In this final part of developing a sense of self, we will explore some strategies for you to implement in your life, today!
Please be weary of comparisonitis
Connected closely to content in lesson 2, don’t ever compare yourself to others because you end up comparing your worst attributes with others best ones. Noone puts their deepest darkest thoughts on instagram, they just don’t. It is not about impressing those people, impressing yourself matters most
Try to focus on making 8 year old you and 80 year old you proud. This is to say that you should keep playing and make decisions that in the future you will thank you for. Ultimately, create the life you want and you must do this intentionally. Don’t leave it to chance.
Also, you notice you the most, so focus on self-respect above all else. The only person you should compare yourself to is you of yesterday.
The spotlight effect teaches us that people don’t notice you as much as you think. So take some peace from this!
Also, with a strong sense of self, you will be better able to navigate the challenges you will face in life.
Now is time to explore these in a bit more detail.
Developing quiet confidence and navigating the challenges you will face
As you progress through life, you will be faced with transitions from school to further education or to the workplace, and the changes that come with this including moving and losing friendship groups, being in unfamiliar situations and meeting new people. There are some top tips shared below for you to make the most of these transitions and associated challenges.
- Your health must come first
I say a bit more about this analogy and mental health more broadly in the video below…
2. Don’t confuse loudness with confidence
- Sometimes the loudest person in the room is not the one who knows it all.
- Often, loudness is an attempt to compensate for a feeling of inadequacy.
- Instead, look to those who people are directing their attention towards the most, these are the people with the authentic power and authority in a situation.
3. Managing comfort, stress and growth is key when both responding to pressure to conform and when going through transitions.
- Use the model below as some guidance for navigating these in your life…
- Recognise that over time, you can increase your growth zone.
- The benefits of a larger growth zone and smaller stress zone are self-evident in many ways. You will still experience the feelings that were once considered stress, but you now see this as growth, it is much harder to get you to feel stressed.
- This means you spend more time working on what matters most, than feeling stressed about it which is generally an unhelpful emotion.
- You will then make better decisions, create better opportunities and make the most of them when the time comes.
- Try to notice the signs you are at a critical stage in these zones too, for example just breaking out of the comfort zone or just about to hit the stress one. At this point, control the controllables and take action, always.
GIST – Good ideas for starting things
- Remember tomorrow: remember how you will feel tomorrow about the decision you are about to make today. Keep this mantra in mind when making decisions both big and small.
- Imagine a film crew is following you around documenting your life, what version of you do you want them to capture? Make it one that future you will thank.
- Try our Starting Points questionnaire to learn more about yourself.
Want to learn more?
- Try the Introduction to Self-leadership course to discover more about key elements
- Read more about how to transition purposefully into further education on page 45 in the Eton College research journal.
- Read the truth about being a Happy Sexy Millionaire with Steven Bartlett.